This is news on foot, the best kind of news. We have news with tradition, news with taste, news with qualitative values. News on Foot doesn't provide any old news story; we provide individually tailored news with all its trappings. If you wish us to report your wife has lost weight, we would, and even add that to 'she is anorexic, didn’t you hear'? That is us in News on Foot. We have a good tradition of saying the right words your ears want to hear! If we witness your grandmother is getting mugged by thugs and she yells 'help!', we will let you know that she needs help! We are such helpful bunch of good fellows. You can believe us, we sure are :).
Do you an insatiable craving for a certain kind of news? If so, commission us and we would do you happy! We have all the words needed in our heads. They flow out when they smell money, especially anything above £50. If your beloved cow has died and you want 'a mooing replacement', then, we have the remedy. In the meantime, have your wife moo for you, it is kind of sweet hearing a cowing, err, we mean, a mooing wife.
Happy NEWS now...call back, you hear...
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